How to Communicate with Challenging Employees

First of all, it’s useful to identify what kinds of challenging behaviour you are dealing with, and then, most fundamentally to understand that however the bad behaviour manifests itself, the root cause is usual one of perception, emotions or identity.  Remember that people are not necessarily ‘difficult’, they are simply different from you. 

Acknowledging that our perceptions shape our reality – and that this is different for everyone – is a first step to understanding why people are being difficult. 

Secondly, remember we are human beings with feelings and emotions, and these can fluctuate from day-to-day or be caused by events happening away from work, in people’s personal lives. 

Finally, often people are like they are because their identity is closely tied to their job, and any ‘attack’ on that is likely to be met with resistance.

Which of these people do you have on your team, would you say? 

The know-it-all, the bully, the victim, the people-pleaser, the gossip, the pessimist, the complainer or the passive-aggressive.

Employees with these traits can be hard to deal with: so hard in fact that if we’re honest, as leaders we often decide not to bother.  But this procrastination is only covering up the issue.  Once your business grows it will become more and more obvious when there is a team member whose behaviour is holding you back.

Regardless of the particular way the negative behaviour manifests, you need to be able to address the issue – and that will involve talking to the person involved – and talking to them sooner rather than later.  This can often seem a daunting task. 

So here are 6 practical steps to guide you:

 1. Stay Calm and Professional

 It's easy to get emotional when dealing with an uncommunicative or disruptive team member. However, as a business owner or manager, your role is to lead with stability. Approach conversations calmly. Avoid public confrontations; instead, call for a private meeting where both sides can speak freely.

 2. Listen Before Judging

 Sometimes, what appears as a bad attitude is rooted in personal struggles, miscommunication, or unclear expectations. Give employees the chance to explain their side. Listening builds trust and often reveals the real, underlying issue.

 3. Be Clear and Specific

 Vague feedback like "you need to improve" leaves employees confused. Be specific: "You missed two client deadlines last month, which affected our delivery schedule." Specific feedback is easier to act on—and harder to argue with.  Separate the personal from the issue at hand by focusing on actions not people.

 4. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame

 Instead of dwelling on mistakes, steer the conversation toward solutions. Ask, "How can we prevent this from happening again?" or "What support do you need to meet expectations?" Empowering employees to take ownership often changes their attitude.

 5. Document Important Conversations

 In SMEs, where structures are often informal, it’s smart to document key discussions, especially warnings or agreed action plans. This protects both you and the employee and ensures accountability.

 6. Know When to Make Hard Decisions

 Despite your best efforts, not every situation improves. If an employee remains toxic or damages your team’s morale, you must prioritize your business and the well-being of others. In such cases, a fair and legal termination process is necessary.